Written and Directed by Nicole Holofcener
Starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Tobias Menzies, Michaela Watkins, Arian Moayed, and Owen Teague

When you’ve been working on a book for two years and it’s finally ready for publication, it’d be nice if your life partner thought the final product was good, or passable at least. But when Beth overhears her husband, Don, ragging on her work while deriding himself for not having the courage to speak truthfully after reading hundreds of drafts, only to muster up ‘it’s your best work yet’, it can really hurt a person’s feelings.

The concept of which types of lies are acceptable and how they may lead people to catastrophise is explored in this light comedy by writer and director Nicole Holofcener. While the humour is solid throughout, the conclusion does leave something to be desired. Though self-worth and confidence are tested by those putting themselves on the line for the sake of their career as they confront their lovers who struggle with honesty, there doesn’t appear to be an obvious message behind the question of – to what lengths should you go to protect loved one’s feelings?

Don is a therapist, and it’s his job to politely guide patients towards rationality and Beth is a writing teacher who needs to gently accommodate the learning curve of her fledging students. Beth’s sister is in a relationship with an actor who comes to terms with constant setbacks in their career. It’s a good setup for a comedy, and great starting point for such a nuanced question, but besides everyone having their feelings hurt eventually, nothing much really changes.

Holofcener opens a pandora’s box and seemingly didn’t know what to do with it. After anyone begins to express themselves and the unpleasant realities, there is just an air of deal with it, mixed in amongst the plethora of humour in the well-balanced cast. But is this a story of stubbornness or honesty?

Don and Beth’s son, Eliot, is at a rocky point in his relationship and just wishes his girlfriend would be honest about the way she feels towards him. You Hurt My Feelings gets a lot of mileage out of his frustrated lashings towards his parent’s bickering. The plot moves steadily when he provides some of the only blunt honesty we’re given before the status quo returns and everyone learns to love the lie again.

So, in the end, it feels as though the simplest answer is the right one: protect egos and fear honesty. Luckily enough, the cast truly excels at mining this setup for its comedic value. As Beth and everyone around her sulk in their perceived mediocrity, audiences are given laugh-a-minute punchlines. Including, of course, a Seinfeld reference or two.

You Hurt My Feelings is nothing to write home about, but Holofcener seems to know the strengths of her cast and doesn’t falter in raising some genuinely thought-provoking questions – even if she protects our feelings by leaving the answers out.

You Hurt My Feelings is showing in selected cinemas across Australia from June 15th.

Moviedoc thanks Roadshow Films for the invite to the screening of this film.

Reviewed by Zak Wheeler for Moviedoc

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