89 minutes, Horror
After its release in 1999, THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT proved to be just as revolutionary as it was visionary in the horror movie realm. The found-footage fright-fest catapulted to fame courtesy of clever marketing and critical praise which led to it becoming one of the most successful independent films at the worldwide box office of all time. More importantly though, THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT was actually scary. Frightening, in fact! One dismal sequel and several years later, BLAIR WITCH (promoted under faux title THE WOODS) arrives on our big screens. A disposable quartet of characters led by James (James Allen McCune from TV’s “Shameless”) trek out to the demonic woods of Black Hills Forest, Maryland in search of James’s sister, Heather – the subject of the 1999 original!
Believe me when I state that the most frightening aspect of the new BLAIR WITCH movie, is just how bad it actually is! Hell-bent on finding the lamest ways of making you jump rather than generating a genuine scare, here is the lowdown as to where and how BLAIR WITCH claims top prize in becoming the worst film of 2016!
- Ever have troubles remembering a character’s name throughout a movie? Won’t be an issue here. You’ll never forget James, Lisa, Ashley and Peter’s names, so incessantly and irritatingly screamed throughout, it fulfils almost the entire films dialogue
- If you shut your eyes, it sounds like you are watching a movie depicting several victims trapped inside one heck of a powerful thunderstorm. As they try to escape, falling trees and repeatedly stepping on the branches can seemingly be heard. Yep, that constitutes your sound effects folks and BLAIR WITCH is relying very heavily on them
- If you open your eyes, almost every move of the four friends is ineffectively and frustratingly captured by way of handheld shaky-cam (not something I have had an issue with in the past!)
- BLAIR WITCH is a dumb movie, featuring dumb people who are doing dumb things
- Those people have little to no characterisation, hence we couldn’t care less for them, but as it turns out, this ends up being the least of the films problems
This horror movie’s everlasting and insurmountable problems can be found in its screenplay, which recklessly conceives several implausible happenings. Some of those particular pieces present an opportunity for the BLAIR WITCH story to take a different route, yet all are bypassed in favour of the painfully repetitive and unoriginal path that ultimately lead to nowheresville.
In need of a true thrill? The far superior and utterly impressive DON’T BREATHE is still in cinemas – check that out instead.
0.5 out of 5
Trailer
BLAIR WITCH
Viewer Discretion
MA15+ – Strong Supernatural Themes
Warning – If you are squeamish when it comes to bodily injuries and/or if you are claustrophobic, please be advised that BLAIR WITCH contains scenes that may be distressing to watch. Also, bear in mind that shaky-cam filming style!
Moviedoc wishes to thank Jesse from Roadshow, Roadshow Films and Village Cinemas Jam Factory for this invitation to the Media Screening of BLAIR WITCH.
Review by Moviedoc
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